So as predicted, I did read When Breath Becomes Air in 2 days. And I do agree with the profound praise that the book has received: it is quite a remarkable read.
The book is the memoir of Paul Kalanithi, a young, talented Stanford neurosurgeon who goes from physician to patient when he discovers that he has stage IV lung cancer. But the book certainly isn't just that simple and it isn't just a recounting of his treatments and coping with the disease. It tells of his early studies and of how Paul decided to pursue neurosurgery even though he majored in literature. He explains his assessment that literature provides the rich account of human existence and that it would provide him with the tools to fully understand the pivotal question: what makes human life meaningful? It is a question/phrase that is used many times throughout the book and is certainly the crux that guided many of Paul's choices in life. And after graduation from undergrad, Paul comes to see that medicine will allow him to have direct experience with "meaning, life, and death," which literature cannot provide.
But it turns out that his diagnosis and facing his own mortality helps him understand these issues better than he ever did by removing a brain tumor or counseling patients and families who were suddenly faced with life and death situations and decisions. While he is clear that death was never something that he disacknowledged and that it was an ever-present topic during his medical studies and practice, knowing that he had a much more limited amount of time than expected put a significant shift in how he viewed his own mortality, and more importantly, his own humanity.
The book ends somewhat abruptly, and the epilogue by Paul's wife Lucy helps to explain the circumstances of his death, pursuing the completion of the book, and sharing her perspective of their relationship and his disease. While I was reading the book and the epilogue, it was strange too because I remember a lot of the stuff that Lucy had posted on Facebook while it was happening. I actually went back to look at posts and stuff from that time. And while the book ended around the time that Lucy and Paul's daughter was born, I knew that Paul had lived for a while after that (around 8 months), recalling that they had been chosen as part of a charity event to attend the Superbowl in Arizona in 2015 (as we all cheered on the Seahawks); Paul passed away about a month afterward. So the abrupt ending to the book probably meant that Paul only managed to write up through his daughter's birth.
The book is definitely cerebral and I think I appreciated the philosophical, biological, and literary examination of existence even more because I am also someone who works in science but is a fanatic lover of literature, and who also has aspirations of being a writer (at least in a different context than what my day job is). So maybe my take away should be a parallel: what am I waiting for? How do I know that I even have enough promised time to make it happen?
I would very much recommend the book and really think that it should be required reading for new medical students. There is so much reflection on understanding one's motivation and calling to be a physician in spite of the extraordinary rigors and life sacrifice it requires (Paul initially talks with a bit of resentment about how his father, a physician, was so often absent in his life, but then goes on to make exactly the same decision). But Paul also makes effective communication and empathy with his patients his focus of paramount importance, even though it was easy to get wrapped up in the other empty formalities of being a physician and lose sight of the patient as priority (a particularly poignant anecdote brings this concept home: a fellow resident was assigned to a 9 hour pancreatic cancer resectioning surgery after being up all night, which ended up being cancelled due to the discovery of metastases, and the resident is relieved about the cancellation, but realizes that her relief means something terrible for the patient).
While I never met Lucy's husband, his evaluation of life and death and its meaning and how he pursued them with aplomb during his too-short life was exceptional. It would have been wonderful to read more from such a talented writer and scholar, but we are certainly fortunate to have this book, which is profound, yet life-affirming.
So. Up next. Dare I do it...is Ulysses. The main reason is that the only other list book that I have in my possession is Macbeth. So it's a toss up at this point. I have 3 other non-list books that I could read, but I figure that since I have the time off, it might be a good beast to just dig into now. So we'll see how this goes. While I don't necessarily like reading 2 books at once, I may have to shift to others if this becomes a struggle (I'm having flashbacks to the agony that was Moby Dick). Wish me luck.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
"I'm Not Afraid Of Seeing Cordelia. I'm Afraid Of Being Cordelia. Because In Some Way We Changed Places, And I've Forgotten When"
Cat's Eye is immediately a book I wished I would have read during a college lit class. And maybe I say that because I have the remnants of reading The Robber Bride in a class that I mentioned previously. But in this case, it's because there is just so much. So much imagery, so many themes, so many very interesting ways in which the main character unfolds that I would have just loved to have talked through with others.
The novel is about Elaine, a fairly well-regarded painter now in her late 40s (or maybe early 50s...I don't think it was ever specifically stated) who has come back to her hometown of Toronto for a gallery retrospective of her work. The story goes back and forth between Elaine's current time in Toronto preparing for the exhibition and her childhood in the 1940s, where she grew up with a father who was an entomologist and whose mother took care of her and her older brother, and who don't necessarily represent the typical 1940s family. Therefore, Elaine was a bit different than other children, spending summers in the Canadian wilderness for her father's insect studies.
The main stories Elaine recounts of her childhood around the age of ~10 years old were that of her "friendship" with 3 other girls: Grace, Carol, and Cordelia. The 3 girls, however, were responsible for significant emotional abuse of Elaine. They criticize her every move for not being correct or good enough (and I mean every single thing she says, does, wears, etc) and report back to each other to "punish" her, all the while assuring Elaine that it's because she is their friend and they want to help her. They even trap her in a grave-like hole in the ground. (I knowingly admit that I haven't done a remotely adequate job of explaining how terribly the 3 girls treated Elaine, but trust me, it wasn't just mundane poking fun). All of this results in Elaine becomes a shell of a person: she feigns sickness all the time, she faints on command, she picks at her cuticles and pulls off the skin on her feet so she can hardly walk, and she truly believes that she is worthless, as she is constantly told. And while all 3 girls are culpable, Cordelia is the one who is certainly the ring leader. The abuse comes to a head when Cordelia throws Elaine's hat into a ravine that the children are forbidden to go into, and when Elaine goes to retrieve her hat, falls into the river and nearly freezes to death.
This is a turning point for Elaine though, as she suddenly realizes that she doesn't have to do what Cordelia and the other girls tell her to and that there was never anything about herself that needed to be improved; that it was, in a way, a game to the girls. Long after, Elaine realizes that it was really Cordelia who was the one experiencing the loneliness, weakness, and fear that she subjected Elaine to, stemming in part from her own family issues, particularly with her father.
Elaine spends much of the rest of her life - her relationships, her college studies, her career - recovering from these events, and in many ways, she becomes the aggressor. She becomes Cordelia. Her life continues to intersect with Cordelia at multiple times during high school and after. Cordelia, who fails out of school, attempts suicide, and is institutionalized for mental problems. And Elaine is cruel to her, and acknowledges this, and knows that she has guilt and remorse for how she is treating Cordelia, but she can't retract it or even understand why she is doing it. Similarly with her first husband, she is cruel, she knows it, can acknowledge on some level that she can be handling things differently, but doesn't. The portrait of Elaine told in the current timeline of the story isn't necessarily a likeable character. She is a curmudgeon who looks at everything with disdain and negativity. But as the full story of her childhood unfolds, the reader can gain an appreciation of how Elaine has become the person she is.
To me, one of the biggest impacts of this book was how much of it was related to the psychological. And I'm not talking about a psychological thriller, but in regards to the mental state of the characters, particularly Elaine and Cordelia. It is very clear that the bullying by the other girls affects Elaine for the rest of her life, and very much defines who she becomes, even though she represses many of the memories. A few times when talking with her mom about her childhood and her mom brings up how concerned she was for her in regards to her "friends", Elaine doesn't know what she's talking about. Her full memories of the abuse don't come to her until much later in life when going through mementos her mother has saved, which triggers it all. Elaine also hears voices, which specifically tell her to commit suicide. Elaine knows that it isn't real, but still acknowledges that she heard the voice speak, as plain as day. And the progression of Cordeila's character over time, from being a cruel bully to a shell of a person is almost the opposite progression of Elaine, but she experiences many of the same psychological issues (suicide attempt included).
The topic of religion also plays a significant role in the novel. Nearly all of Elaine's paintings are inspired by her childhood and many of them feature one of the 3 girls' mothers, Mrs. Smeath in scandalous and unflattering representations, often with religious themes. During the time when the girls were torturing Elaine, she was regularly going to church with Carol and her family, because her own family didn't go to church. And she seems to enjoy it, although she may not completely understand it. She learns all of the prayers and excels in the Sunday school lessons (although this is partly to try to please Carol and prevent more ostracizing). But one Sunday at Carol's house, she hears Mrs. Smeath and Carol's aunt talking about her and calling her a heathen, saying that it's because of her family, saying that the girls aren't being too hard on her, and that it serves her right and it's God's punishment. It's interesting that this moment becomes a significant pivot for her feelings on God and religion and so much of her hate going forward is fixated on Mrs. Smeath. While it is terrible that an adult would be complicit in what is being done to Elaine, I just found it a bit surprising that she doesn't fixate her anger (and subsequently her artwork) on the 3 girls who were actually abusing her. And many of Elaine's feelings about religion stem from this time.
One of the other critical aspects of the novel is that of feminism. This is really driven home a bit later in the novel when Elaine is establishing herself as a painter in roughly the mid to late 1960s (estimating from her age) and after she has her daughter. She attends meetings with small groups of women where they clearly are angry at the patriarchy and testify about all the ways that men keep them down. But Elaine is a reluctant participant in all of this, not just in the meetings, but of feminism all together. She never really feels like she identifies with women or sisterhood, but she seems to understand that she is a feminist, whether she's out on the front lines protesting or not.
There is really tons more that I could talk about with this novel. It was so rich and well-written. So much gorgeous imagery and lyrical writing. This is what modern novels should be. Certainly an inspiration that I will reflect on moving forward.
Next up, I'm going to take a quick pause from the lists to read When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanitihi. I've had this book since almost when it came out earlier this year, but haven't read it yet. I have known the late Paul's wife, Lucy, since I was in elementary school. I was friends with Lucy and her twin Joanna all through elementary, middle, and high school. Paths diverged in college, and I can say that my relationship with the Goddard sisters is now mainly via Facebook. But I greatly admire Lucy's courage throughout the illness and death of her husband and her eloquence since then, sharing her and his story. I suspect I will read the book rather quickly...
Until next time. 231 to go.
The novel is about Elaine, a fairly well-regarded painter now in her late 40s (or maybe early 50s...I don't think it was ever specifically stated) who has come back to her hometown of Toronto for a gallery retrospective of her work. The story goes back and forth between Elaine's current time in Toronto preparing for the exhibition and her childhood in the 1940s, where she grew up with a father who was an entomologist and whose mother took care of her and her older brother, and who don't necessarily represent the typical 1940s family. Therefore, Elaine was a bit different than other children, spending summers in the Canadian wilderness for her father's insect studies.
The main stories Elaine recounts of her childhood around the age of ~10 years old were that of her "friendship" with 3 other girls: Grace, Carol, and Cordelia. The 3 girls, however, were responsible for significant emotional abuse of Elaine. They criticize her every move for not being correct or good enough (and I mean every single thing she says, does, wears, etc) and report back to each other to "punish" her, all the while assuring Elaine that it's because she is their friend and they want to help her. They even trap her in a grave-like hole in the ground. (I knowingly admit that I haven't done a remotely adequate job of explaining how terribly the 3 girls treated Elaine, but trust me, it wasn't just mundane poking fun). All of this results in Elaine becomes a shell of a person: she feigns sickness all the time, she faints on command, she picks at her cuticles and pulls off the skin on her feet so she can hardly walk, and she truly believes that she is worthless, as she is constantly told. And while all 3 girls are culpable, Cordelia is the one who is certainly the ring leader. The abuse comes to a head when Cordelia throws Elaine's hat into a ravine that the children are forbidden to go into, and when Elaine goes to retrieve her hat, falls into the river and nearly freezes to death.
This is a turning point for Elaine though, as she suddenly realizes that she doesn't have to do what Cordelia and the other girls tell her to and that there was never anything about herself that needed to be improved; that it was, in a way, a game to the girls. Long after, Elaine realizes that it was really Cordelia who was the one experiencing the loneliness, weakness, and fear that she subjected Elaine to, stemming in part from her own family issues, particularly with her father.
Elaine spends much of the rest of her life - her relationships, her college studies, her career - recovering from these events, and in many ways, she becomes the aggressor. She becomes Cordelia. Her life continues to intersect with Cordelia at multiple times during high school and after. Cordelia, who fails out of school, attempts suicide, and is institutionalized for mental problems. And Elaine is cruel to her, and acknowledges this, and knows that she has guilt and remorse for how she is treating Cordelia, but she can't retract it or even understand why she is doing it. Similarly with her first husband, she is cruel, she knows it, can acknowledge on some level that she can be handling things differently, but doesn't. The portrait of Elaine told in the current timeline of the story isn't necessarily a likeable character. She is a curmudgeon who looks at everything with disdain and negativity. But as the full story of her childhood unfolds, the reader can gain an appreciation of how Elaine has become the person she is.
To me, one of the biggest impacts of this book was how much of it was related to the psychological. And I'm not talking about a psychological thriller, but in regards to the mental state of the characters, particularly Elaine and Cordelia. It is very clear that the bullying by the other girls affects Elaine for the rest of her life, and very much defines who she becomes, even though she represses many of the memories. A few times when talking with her mom about her childhood and her mom brings up how concerned she was for her in regards to her "friends", Elaine doesn't know what she's talking about. Her full memories of the abuse don't come to her until much later in life when going through mementos her mother has saved, which triggers it all. Elaine also hears voices, which specifically tell her to commit suicide. Elaine knows that it isn't real, but still acknowledges that she heard the voice speak, as plain as day. And the progression of Cordeila's character over time, from being a cruel bully to a shell of a person is almost the opposite progression of Elaine, but she experiences many of the same psychological issues (suicide attempt included).
The topic of religion also plays a significant role in the novel. Nearly all of Elaine's paintings are inspired by her childhood and many of them feature one of the 3 girls' mothers, Mrs. Smeath in scandalous and unflattering representations, often with religious themes. During the time when the girls were torturing Elaine, she was regularly going to church with Carol and her family, because her own family didn't go to church. And she seems to enjoy it, although she may not completely understand it. She learns all of the prayers and excels in the Sunday school lessons (although this is partly to try to please Carol and prevent more ostracizing). But one Sunday at Carol's house, she hears Mrs. Smeath and Carol's aunt talking about her and calling her a heathen, saying that it's because of her family, saying that the girls aren't being too hard on her, and that it serves her right and it's God's punishment. It's interesting that this moment becomes a significant pivot for her feelings on God and religion and so much of her hate going forward is fixated on Mrs. Smeath. While it is terrible that an adult would be complicit in what is being done to Elaine, I just found it a bit surprising that she doesn't fixate her anger (and subsequently her artwork) on the 3 girls who were actually abusing her. And many of Elaine's feelings about religion stem from this time.
One of the other critical aspects of the novel is that of feminism. This is really driven home a bit later in the novel when Elaine is establishing herself as a painter in roughly the mid to late 1960s (estimating from her age) and after she has her daughter. She attends meetings with small groups of women where they clearly are angry at the patriarchy and testify about all the ways that men keep them down. But Elaine is a reluctant participant in all of this, not just in the meetings, but of feminism all together. She never really feels like she identifies with women or sisterhood, but she seems to understand that she is a feminist, whether she's out on the front lines protesting or not.
There is really tons more that I could talk about with this novel. It was so rich and well-written. So much gorgeous imagery and lyrical writing. This is what modern novels should be. Certainly an inspiration that I will reflect on moving forward.
Next up, I'm going to take a quick pause from the lists to read When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanitihi. I've had this book since almost when it came out earlier this year, but haven't read it yet. I have known the late Paul's wife, Lucy, since I was in elementary school. I was friends with Lucy and her twin Joanna all through elementary, middle, and high school. Paths diverged in college, and I can say that my relationship with the Goddard sisters is now mainly via Facebook. But I greatly admire Lucy's courage throughout the illness and death of her husband and her eloquence since then, sharing her and his story. I suspect I will read the book rather quickly...
Until next time. 231 to go.
Sunday, December 4, 2016
"A Change Is As Good As Rest"
I quit my job just over a month ago; my last day was November 14th. My new employers initially wanted me to start on November 28th; however, I knew I was going to be out of town for a week and with Thanksgiving the week after, I wanted to have just 1 additional week before starting. So I suggested a start date of December 5th. Well, it turns out that December is a bad month at my new company to have new employees start due to workload and many folks being gone the latter half of the month with the holidays. So they suggested I start in January. So what I anticipated being a 3 week break before my new job has turned into a 7, possibly 8 week break. I was a little startled at first, but now that I've come around, holy shit ya'll, I have 8 mother truckin' weeks off bitches!!
I've never had this much time off...pretty much ever. There was a long span of time (about 9 months) right after I graduated from undergrad where I couldn't find a job and was unemployed. So I guess that's a longer period of time, but that was accompanied with so much defeat, anger, frustration, anxiety, and depression, that it's not like it really counted as "time off". Whereas this is legit, I-know-that-I'm-moving-on-to-something, ain't-got-shit-to-do, time off.
So have I spent this time hunkered down, ravaging through every book on my bookshelf that is on my to read list? Well, maybe only a little bit. But hey, I got a new bookshelf to put all of books on, so that's kind of sort of a little victory?
But seriously, I have been making good progress through Cat's Eye, and I am sure going to have a lot to say about this book. And even though it was written in the 1980s, there is such a relevance to many issues facing children today, I can't wait to wrap my thoughts around it all (and of course to see how the book finally pans out).
But I think once a get a few other things in order, then I'm really going to be able to enjoy more reading, and hopefully some productive writing as well. I'm sure that the next 4/5 weeks are going to fly by and this magical time of leisure will be nothing but a memory of fortunate circumstances giving me the gift of relaxation and free time. But believe me, I intend to make the absolute most of it!!
I've never had this much time off...pretty much ever. There was a long span of time (about 9 months) right after I graduated from undergrad where I couldn't find a job and was unemployed. So I guess that's a longer period of time, but that was accompanied with so much defeat, anger, frustration, anxiety, and depression, that it's not like it really counted as "time off". Whereas this is legit, I-know-that-I'm-moving-on-to-something, ain't-got-shit-to-do, time off.
So have I spent this time hunkered down, ravaging through every book on my bookshelf that is on my to read list? Well, maybe only a little bit. But hey, I got a new bookshelf to put all of books on, so that's kind of sort of a little victory?
But seriously, I have been making good progress through Cat's Eye, and I am sure going to have a lot to say about this book. And even though it was written in the 1980s, there is such a relevance to many issues facing children today, I can't wait to wrap my thoughts around it all (and of course to see how the book finally pans out).
But I think once a get a few other things in order, then I'm really going to be able to enjoy more reading, and hopefully some productive writing as well. I'm sure that the next 4/5 weeks are going to fly by and this magical time of leisure will be nothing but a memory of fortunate circumstances giving me the gift of relaxation and free time. But believe me, I intend to make the absolute most of it!!
Sunday, October 23, 2016
"Vanity And Pride Are Different Things, Though The Words Are Often Used Synonymously. A Person May Be Proud Without Being Vain. Pride Relates More To Our Opinion Of Ourselves; Vanity To What We Would Have Others Think Of Us"
I cannot explain exactly why, but I read Pride and Prejudice in less than a week. It wasn't as though I was all googly-eyed, lovey-dovey about the main relationship in the novel, between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. And I'm not going to go out and join a Jane Austen fan girl club or anything (which, from my understanding, there are many of).
But somehow, even though I've seen the movie and knew what happened, I couldn't put it down. I think it was mostly because I was completely drawn in by the language. And while the book is >200 years old, and the some of the language was certainly a bit different than today, it was still so easy to read the saucy sarcasm and biting words of Elizabeth. She is quite a character (literally and figuratively), and pretty surprising to find such an outspoken female character who bucked the trend of marrying to further one's standing and to satisfy one's family (ignoring the fact that, even though she didn't care for these things, in the end, she manages to capture the motherload of eligible bachelors to fulfill both of those ends). But she doesn't hesitate almost from the moment of meeting Mr. Darcy to tell him exactly what she thinks of him, often in a manner of extreme wit. Which again, I can't imagine women were often allowed to do in the early 1800s.
And the other thing that I very much appreciated about the novel was that it was easy to wrap my head around the themes presented. That, while not necessarily handed to the reader, it was easy to see the differing levels of pride and prejudice in Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, primarily, and how they shift through the course of the novel. How Elizabeth very willingly admits to allowing her prejudice of Mr. Darcy cloud her opinion of him and Mr. Darcy even admits to allowing his social status to affect his opinions of Elizabeth and the rest of the Bennet family (more on that hot mess in a moment). And even pride and prejudice in many of the other minor characters to varying degrees certainly defined them in many ways (Mr. Collins, Charlotte Lucas, Lady Catherine, etc). It made everything in the novel so much more accessible to really understand the characters and how their initial perceptions of others and of themselves impacted all of their further actions when the prose often circled back to the concepts of pride and prejudice.
But let me just take a moment to say that I may have found one of the most villainous, loathsome characters that I have ever encountered: Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth (and her sisters') mother. Ugh, I just couldn't stand anything that came out of the woman's mouth. While her 100% preoccupation was marrying off her daughters under the pretense of wanting good futures for them, it was really all about her own selfishness and vanity. She just wanted to parade her daughters about the county and brag about their matches. It had absolutely nothing to do with her actually caring about her daughters' happiness as much as it did about herself looking good on paper and being more impressive on a social scale. And the terrible, embarrassing things that she said to humiliate her daughters just made me want to punch her (and I kept found myself hoping that Elizabeth could be that ballsy of a character to just clock her mom in the jaw, but alas, she was still a well-bred, classy lady. Dammit). I can only hope that in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies that Mrs. Bennet was the first to be eaten alive, because bitch got on my nerves!
I'm actually a bit sad that I have no other Jane Austen books on any of my lists. Because I did find her writing to be quite charming and witty, and I would really have liked to see how Emma, Sense and Sensibility, or Mansfield Park are in regards to the type of writing encountered in Pride and Prejudice. Not to say that anything is preventing me from picking them up and reading, but I still have a long way to go with all of the other books on my docket!
So up next is Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood. I read The Robber Bride as part of a literature class during my undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan, and I remember discussing the book in a lecture class of about 100 or so people. And the first person to speak and share his feelings about the novel was a guy who immediately said that he didn't like the book because it was "chick lit". And even at the time, this made me angry, and probably was the impetus for even starting these lists and pulling a list of the best works of literature of the 20th century by women writers (of which I am happy to see Margaret Atwood included on). I remember being so pleased when reading The Robber Bride because it addressed infidelity from a women's point of view in a way that I had never read before and it felt different and fresh and honest in a complete different way and being annoyed that just because it was female characters and issues told from a female's point of view that it was so readily dismissed as "chick lit". It still chaps my ass even now thinking about it 18 years or so later (jesus lord, I just dated myself). So I am very excited to get moving on Cat's Eye. Given the way I have been voraciously making my way through books lately, maybe I'll have this bad boy finished before Halloween.
Happy almost-end-of-October! 232 books left to read!
But somehow, even though I've seen the movie and knew what happened, I couldn't put it down. I think it was mostly because I was completely drawn in by the language. And while the book is >200 years old, and the some of the language was certainly a bit different than today, it was still so easy to read the saucy sarcasm and biting words of Elizabeth. She is quite a character (literally and figuratively), and pretty surprising to find such an outspoken female character who bucked the trend of marrying to further one's standing and to satisfy one's family (ignoring the fact that, even though she didn't care for these things, in the end, she manages to capture the motherload of eligible bachelors to fulfill both of those ends). But she doesn't hesitate almost from the moment of meeting Mr. Darcy to tell him exactly what she thinks of him, often in a manner of extreme wit. Which again, I can't imagine women were often allowed to do in the early 1800s.
And the other thing that I very much appreciated about the novel was that it was easy to wrap my head around the themes presented. That, while not necessarily handed to the reader, it was easy to see the differing levels of pride and prejudice in Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, primarily, and how they shift through the course of the novel. How Elizabeth very willingly admits to allowing her prejudice of Mr. Darcy cloud her opinion of him and Mr. Darcy even admits to allowing his social status to affect his opinions of Elizabeth and the rest of the Bennet family (more on that hot mess in a moment). And even pride and prejudice in many of the other minor characters to varying degrees certainly defined them in many ways (Mr. Collins, Charlotte Lucas, Lady Catherine, etc). It made everything in the novel so much more accessible to really understand the characters and how their initial perceptions of others and of themselves impacted all of their further actions when the prose often circled back to the concepts of pride and prejudice.
But let me just take a moment to say that I may have found one of the most villainous, loathsome characters that I have ever encountered: Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth (and her sisters') mother. Ugh, I just couldn't stand anything that came out of the woman's mouth. While her 100% preoccupation was marrying off her daughters under the pretense of wanting good futures for them, it was really all about her own selfishness and vanity. She just wanted to parade her daughters about the county and brag about their matches. It had absolutely nothing to do with her actually caring about her daughters' happiness as much as it did about herself looking good on paper and being more impressive on a social scale. And the terrible, embarrassing things that she said to humiliate her daughters just made me want to punch her (and I kept found myself hoping that Elizabeth could be that ballsy of a character to just clock her mom in the jaw, but alas, she was still a well-bred, classy lady. Dammit). I can only hope that in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies that Mrs. Bennet was the first to be eaten alive, because bitch got on my nerves!
I'm actually a bit sad that I have no other Jane Austen books on any of my lists. Because I did find her writing to be quite charming and witty, and I would really have liked to see how Emma, Sense and Sensibility, or Mansfield Park are in regards to the type of writing encountered in Pride and Prejudice. Not to say that anything is preventing me from picking them up and reading, but I still have a long way to go with all of the other books on my docket!
So up next is Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood. I read The Robber Bride as part of a literature class during my undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan, and I remember discussing the book in a lecture class of about 100 or so people. And the first person to speak and share his feelings about the novel was a guy who immediately said that he didn't like the book because it was "chick lit". And even at the time, this made me angry, and probably was the impetus for even starting these lists and pulling a list of the best works of literature of the 20th century by women writers (of which I am happy to see Margaret Atwood included on). I remember being so pleased when reading The Robber Bride because it addressed infidelity from a women's point of view in a way that I had never read before and it felt different and fresh and honest in a complete different way and being annoyed that just because it was female characters and issues told from a female's point of view that it was so readily dismissed as "chick lit". It still chaps my ass even now thinking about it 18 years or so later (jesus lord, I just dated myself). So I am very excited to get moving on Cat's Eye. Given the way I have been voraciously making my way through books lately, maybe I'll have this bad boy finished before Halloween.
Happy almost-end-of-October! 232 books left to read!
Thursday, October 13, 2016
"The Holes In Your Life Are Permanent. You Have To Grow Around Them, Like Tree Roots Around Concrete; You Mold Yourselves Through The Gaps"
You know what is another good way to have nothing to do but read? Flying. I had a job interview in New Jersey on Monday and I forgot to bring Pride and Prejudice. I had it sitting on the dining room table but forgot to shove it in my bag. So in lieu of logging into one of my laptops to do work on the flight (yes, because of work, I travel with more than one laptop), I bought The Girl On The Train at the airport. And proceeded to read the entire thing in approximately 4 days. I mistakenly assumed that the book was the same author as Gone Girl, since there were so many comparisons made in the commercials for the movie. But it is actually the first novel written by Paula Hawkins.
As I've mentioned before, I'm a sucker for a good whodoneit. Which is why I always fly through books like this. The story is a about an alcoholic divorcee, Rachel, who rides the train to and from London every day while fantasizing about the lives of a couple whose house she sees on her daily commute. But then you find out that she used to live in a house only a couple doors down. And you learn that she has lost her job due to her drinking and is just riding the train to hide the fact that she was fired from her roommate. And then the woman that she watches from the train disappears and Rachel involves herself in the investigation and was actually in the area the night of her disappearance. So from there the story unfolds of Rachel, her ex-husband, his new wife, and the husband of the missing girl.
The main thing I liked about the writing of the book was the unreliability of Rachel and her memory from drinking and the way the author conveyed so much of her feelings and her shame. Because so much of it felt so accurate and honest. About the blackouts, and how drastically people change when they're drunk, and the struggle she would go through trying not to fall down the rabbit hole and start drinking again. Her spotty memory and severe emotional swings made you question her for sure, and wonder if she was capable of doing some terrible things. But also affected how you saw the other characters too. So I felt like that was a very clever lens through which to tell the story.
However, I did guess the end of the book. Not that it was super obvious, but I think if the reader figured out some of the hints early on, you could figure it out. I did like the book though overall, and am looking forward to seeing the movie (although side note: while I very much like Emily Blunt, I feel she was a bit miscast. The woman in the book was constantly described as heavy and definitely not attractive. So while they can try to ugly her up, Emily Blunt is still far too attractive to fit the description of the character in the book).
Now that I'm on a roll and reunited with Pride and Prejudice, I have a feeling that I'm going to fly through the rest of that one too. Long days spent doing nothing but reading? Could a girl ask for anything more??
As I've mentioned before, I'm a sucker for a good whodoneit. Which is why I always fly through books like this. The story is a about an alcoholic divorcee, Rachel, who rides the train to and from London every day while fantasizing about the lives of a couple whose house she sees on her daily commute. But then you find out that she used to live in a house only a couple doors down. And you learn that she has lost her job due to her drinking and is just riding the train to hide the fact that she was fired from her roommate. And then the woman that she watches from the train disappears and Rachel involves herself in the investigation and was actually in the area the night of her disappearance. So from there the story unfolds of Rachel, her ex-husband, his new wife, and the husband of the missing girl.
The main thing I liked about the writing of the book was the unreliability of Rachel and her memory from drinking and the way the author conveyed so much of her feelings and her shame. Because so much of it felt so accurate and honest. About the blackouts, and how drastically people change when they're drunk, and the struggle she would go through trying not to fall down the rabbit hole and start drinking again. Her spotty memory and severe emotional swings made you question her for sure, and wonder if she was capable of doing some terrible things. But also affected how you saw the other characters too. So I felt like that was a very clever lens through which to tell the story.
However, I did guess the end of the book. Not that it was super obvious, but I think if the reader figured out some of the hints early on, you could figure it out. I did like the book though overall, and am looking forward to seeing the movie (although side note: while I very much like Emily Blunt, I feel she was a bit miscast. The woman in the book was constantly described as heavy and definitely not attractive. So while they can try to ugly her up, Emily Blunt is still far too attractive to fit the description of the character in the book).
Now that I'm on a roll and reunited with Pride and Prejudice, I have a feeling that I'm going to fly through the rest of that one too. Long days spent doing nothing but reading? Could a girl ask for anything more??
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
"I Declare After All There Is No Enjoyment Like Reading! How Much Sooner One Tires of Any Thing Than Of A Book!'
So I turned 37 a couple weeks ago. And I'm willing to acknowledge that it's looking less and less feasible that I'll finish all of these books by the time I'm 40. Rather than going for my 40th birthday, I'm going to say that I'll give myself until the day before my 41st birthday (because I'll still be 40 and all...). So that gives me until September 13th, 2020, which is approximately 47 months. And with 233 books left, that gives me ~5 books a month. And as much as I love reading, I can't really clear 1 book a week (or slightly more!). So I'm willing to acknowledge that I'm a little more ambitious than might be realistic.
But that won't stop me from forging ahead. My biggest distraction, other than that whole working full time garbage, is wanting to read books that aren't on the list. Reading this type of literature is admittedly not always the most compelling content, so I always find myself at the bookstore with my hands impulsively going towards the new paperback fiction books. But that's ok. I can't just limit myself or I'd probably go crazy. Onward and upward.
But hey, you know what's good for reading? Jury duty! I sat in a room for an entire day sans cell phone and nothing else to do but read Pride and Prejudice (I may have snuck in a nap and some viewing of the movies they were showing). But man, everyone always complains about jury duty, but it kind of felt like an amazing, government imposed vacation. Sign me up for my civic duty more often! (I didn't end up getting chosen, or even interviewed, so I'm out of circulation for at least a year). The entire time I was reading Pride and Prejudice, all I kept thinking about were the actors who play the different roles in the movie. I think this seems to be a recurring theme for me for books that I know that movies exist for. But so far, I'm enjoying it very much! Hopefully I can continue to make progress like I have to read 5 books a month!
But that won't stop me from forging ahead. My biggest distraction, other than that whole working full time garbage, is wanting to read books that aren't on the list. Reading this type of literature is admittedly not always the most compelling content, so I always find myself at the bookstore with my hands impulsively going towards the new paperback fiction books. But that's ok. I can't just limit myself or I'd probably go crazy. Onward and upward.
But hey, you know what's good for reading? Jury duty! I sat in a room for an entire day sans cell phone and nothing else to do but read Pride and Prejudice (I may have snuck in a nap and some viewing of the movies they were showing). But man, everyone always complains about jury duty, but it kind of felt like an amazing, government imposed vacation. Sign me up for my civic duty more often! (I didn't end up getting chosen, or even interviewed, so I'm out of circulation for at least a year). The entire time I was reading Pride and Prejudice, all I kept thinking about were the actors who play the different roles in the movie. I think this seems to be a recurring theme for me for books that I know that movies exist for. But so far, I'm enjoying it very much! Hopefully I can continue to make progress like I have to read 5 books a month!
Sunday, October 2, 2016
"It Took A While Before The Message Seeped Into His Soul, But Once There, It Was There Forever: Things Are What They Are, And Whatever Will Be Will Be"
At first when I started reading The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared, I was a little thrown off by the writing, as it felt a little simple and almost choppy in a way. I was aware that the book had been translated from Swedish, so I assumed that a lot of that was just a "lost in translation". But the more I got into the book, the more accustomed I got, and I now actually think that the writing was more intentional, with a lot of dry humor that came across as a bit blunt, but that still gave me a smile here and there from a subtle wry wit.
The best way I can describe this book is charming. It tells the story of a man (as the very literal title implies), explosive expert Allan Karlsson, who crawls out of the window of his old folk's home on his 100th birthday because he doesn't want to stay for his birthday party. And from there, after impulsively deciding to steal a suitcase at a bus station, Allan experiences a very interesting series of events that introduces him to a very colorful cast of characters while being hunted for a number of crimes. Interspersed with the main story of Allan at 100 years old is the story of Allan's life, including numerous anecdotes about his impact on many events of global history: affecting outcomes during the Spanish Civil War with General Franco, involvement in helping create the atom bomb at Los Alamos and his friendship with President Truman, affecting interactions with Mao Tse-tung and Chiang Kai-shek, walking over the Himalayas from China to Iran, giving nuclear information to the Russians, being detained in a Russian prison, lying his way into meeting Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il in North Korea, living in a hotel in Bali, and many many other adventures.
However, the main take-away from this book is really to live life to it's fullest, no matter your age. All of the things that Allan's character did at any age could have been done by anyone at any age (he blows up his own house at a young age and again at a very old age!). And the character of Allan has a very laid-back, non-intrusive approach to the events of his own life....like the title quote says, he kind of just accepts the events of his life as they are and moves forward through them, without much significant emotion in them; mostly just acknowledging the pleasant things that come his way (this largely revolves around drinking...drinking preferably high-end vodka).
So if you're looking for a relatively quick read (even given the nearly 400 pages) that will make you smile, and maybe give a little bit of a history lesson, then I would recommend this one.
So I'm back to the reading lists. Next up is Pride and Prejudice. Believe it or not, I've never ready any Jane Austen. I'll admit to having seen the movie of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly, although I don't think I've actually seen it all the way through. So hopefully actually reading it will be enjoyable - I know I liked what I saw of the movie.
Off to it!
The best way I can describe this book is charming. It tells the story of a man (as the very literal title implies), explosive expert Allan Karlsson, who crawls out of the window of his old folk's home on his 100th birthday because he doesn't want to stay for his birthday party. And from there, after impulsively deciding to steal a suitcase at a bus station, Allan experiences a very interesting series of events that introduces him to a very colorful cast of characters while being hunted for a number of crimes. Interspersed with the main story of Allan at 100 years old is the story of Allan's life, including numerous anecdotes about his impact on many events of global history: affecting outcomes during the Spanish Civil War with General Franco, involvement in helping create the atom bomb at Los Alamos and his friendship with President Truman, affecting interactions with Mao Tse-tung and Chiang Kai-shek, walking over the Himalayas from China to Iran, giving nuclear information to the Russians, being detained in a Russian prison, lying his way into meeting Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il in North Korea, living in a hotel in Bali, and many many other adventures.
However, the main take-away from this book is really to live life to it's fullest, no matter your age. All of the things that Allan's character did at any age could have been done by anyone at any age (he blows up his own house at a young age and again at a very old age!). And the character of Allan has a very laid-back, non-intrusive approach to the events of his own life....like the title quote says, he kind of just accepts the events of his life as they are and moves forward through them, without much significant emotion in them; mostly just acknowledging the pleasant things that come his way (this largely revolves around drinking...drinking preferably high-end vodka).
So if you're looking for a relatively quick read (even given the nearly 400 pages) that will make you smile, and maybe give a little bit of a history lesson, then I would recommend this one.
So I'm back to the reading lists. Next up is Pride and Prejudice. Believe it or not, I've never ready any Jane Austen. I'll admit to having seen the movie of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly, although I don't think I've actually seen it all the way through. So hopefully actually reading it will be enjoyable - I know I liked what I saw of the movie.
Off to it!
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